Another Massacre

I will say that life gets very frustrating from time to time. It sometimes feels as though I'm standing on a mountain, futilely screaming at the top of my lungs. No one hears me. No one cares. They don't want to listen to what I say... I know a few too many truths that people aren't ready for. I know things that make people look bad.

No, I'm not going on an ego trip.

The attack by Adam Lanza has saturated every bit of news in every way. Some are scared. What's stopping this from happening to their kids? Others cry for the cameras... it's a photo-op. They use it to push their agendas, and to shout anyone down to cowering shame who tries to stop their agendas.

When Columbine happened, my high school banned wearing too much black. I suppose they somehow figured that it would prevent another such attack. It was easier than actually addressing any of the real problems, though.

There are always scapegoats... and make no mistake, blaming guns is no different than blaming music or entertainment, video games, lack of religion, lack of beating the crap out of kids. It's all the same.

If you actually give a rat's ass about preventing such incidents in the future... forget the damned scapegoats. Forget trying to appease the opportunists - they don't fucking deserve it.

Instead, look closer to the attacker. What would motivate someone to do this? Was he abused? If so, I doubt we'll ever hear about it... while I do support single moms, I also know from personal experience that there are some who get a lot more praise than they deserve. Was he bullied? Good chance of it. Again though, nobody is likely to come forward with such info. Anyone try to reach out to him? Of course, a lot of people will say they did. And who the hell neglected to pay attention to his cries for help beforehand?

Oh, what's that? People say there weren't any cries for help? Seems to me that he was rather twitchy and isolated. Are those not cries for help? How did those around him respond to him? Gossiping, calling him creepy? Circulating some rumors? You know, I recall those who knew him saying they weren't really surprised. Did they stand and gawk? Do you really think that someone goes on a suicidal rampage without making a few cries for help first?

None of that justifies what he did. Were I there, I would have put him down myself. What I'm pointing out is what the opportunists are ignoring. No, no... nothing to see here. Just keep focused on those scary guns. Don't pay any attention to the man behind the guns. He's such a great guy to give the anti-gun opportunists so much fuel, isn't he? I wonder if they are thanking god for him and the dead children much like Westboro thanks god for dead soldiers.

Who the hell am I to call out society like this? I'm one of those bullying and abuse victims. A son of a single mother who would hit me, insult me, demean me, and try to turn friends against me. One who would turn on the waterworks to sob about how she tried so hard with me, but the devil reached me through my music and the like. One who threw me under the bus to save face. One who made everyone think I was a lying brat. One who isolated me. One who made me an easy target for a molester.

I am not homicidal or anywhere near it... but I am one who slipped through the cracks and saw the grimy underside of society. That's who I am. That's why I can speak with some knowledge as to why these events happen. But again, few actually want to know. Not many people want to look inside themselves.

Child Abuse

There are two things that really piss me off - child abuse and domestic abuse. The former more so, because while it may be difficult, an abused adult ultimately does have the freedom to walk away from their abuser. A child does not. Ultimately, according to law, a child's entire life (through childhood) is to be decided by adults who, try as they might, can never fully comprehend what the child is going through. Often, adults really don't give a rat's ass, either. They automatically tend to assume the kid is wrong.

If you watch the show "Cops" enough, you will see what I'm talking about. Every time there's a call about a parent with an unruly kid, the cop, in my experience, has always sided with the parent without even hearing the kid's side, especially if the parent in question is the mother. Yes, the kid does have a side. I'm not saying the kid is always right, but it is worth hearing.

Yes, I'm a little bitter on the subject of child abuse. I've been abused myself... physically, emotionally, and because the previous two made me an easy target for it, sexually. During the time I was abused, I spent much of my time bordering on suicidal. Yes, I was a cutter... and for the armchair psychologists out there, I was not doing it for attention. I actually generally wore long sleeves to hide that I was doing it. The pain was a distraction, I think it may have momentarily satisfied my self-destructive impulses.

If you see child abuse happening, intervene! You may be saving a life. You may be threatened for it (I was threatened with a weapon once when I did), but you'll sleep better with a clean conscience for it. At least call the police and make sure they follow through... in said instance, it was like pulling teeth to get the police to do a welfare check on the kid afterward.

The inspiration for this rant is this:

Stepmother and grandmother ran a nine year old girl to death.

One thing that kind of sticks with me is the people who witnessed this didn't realize that they were witnessing a murder. It also said something about concerned citizens having called the sheriff. The sheriff's department either was called too late, or they didn't think it was important. I have to wonder what might have happened if the sheriff's department did respond more quickly, or maybe if one of the "concerned citizens" stopped her and asked her what was going on. She may still be alive, and the stepmother and grandmother would be up on child abuse charges instead of murder.

This also hits close to home, as it sounds like something an ex of mine might have done, had we had a kid. They said something about a bladder problem being the reason this kid wasn't allowed to have chocolate. If you didn't read the article, the punishment of being made to run for three hours was because she lied about eating a candy bar a friend had given her. There was no evidence found of a bladder condition, so my speculation leads me to believe this was more about weight and vanity. I have seen mothers forcing that obsession on their kids. I even remember in elementary school, one classmate who said her mother would smell her breath for sugar every day and spank her if she smelled sugar... which was every day.

The father really should have stepped things up and stuck to his guns in getting divorced from that woman. He said that she was bi-polar and a drinker, but he still apparently trusted her with his daughter for some reason. It's one thing if you don't pull yourself out of an abusive relationship, but it's another if you have a kid in one. Having a kid means extra responsibility... so if you can't get out of the relationship for yourself, do it for your kid!

Prejudice and Hypocrisy

When talking about equal rights, it's generally very bad practice to make exceptions. In early America, there were several exceptions to the "all men are created equal" philosophy - basically anyone who wasn't white and/or Christian. Also, the "men" part of that philosophy was treated in a much more literal sense than it is today, as it was the accepted belief that women just weren't as important as men. And as for sexual orientation, forget about it. If you were anything other than straight, you were insane. In some cases, that would mean electroshock treatment, frontal lobotomies, etc. And that's just the institutionalized stuff, not the lynch-mob type of stuff.

Lately, bullying has been making the news a lot. The rather horrible consequences of it are becoming a lot more publicized where we are hearing about suicides and the like as a result of it. I realize I may be saying this phrase a lot on my blog, but "it's nothing new." When things like bullying, child abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, etc, become more publicized, there is a common misconception that it is new. Then the generation gets blamed, "ie, when I was that age, we knew to treat each other with respect, or we'd end up with a hot butt!"

But again, it's nothing new. In the older days, it was simply accepted that child abuse and domestic abuse, and sometimes even sexual abuse was "just the way things are." For a child to admit that they were being abused, especially if by a same-sex abuser, it would scandalize the whole family. So it simply wasn't talked about. Child abuse and domestic violence were "a family matter."

It's undeniable that huge strides have been made (though some still yearn for the days when they had the "right" to beat their kids and/or wives), and progress is still being made. As someone who has had to deal with a lot of bullying as a kid, I'm glad that more is being done about it.

But let's get back to why I titled this post "Prejudice and Hypocrisy," shall we? This is why:

OK to bully gay kids if you're Christian or otherwise philosophically or politically opposed

What's the fucking difference? Under this same hair-brained philosophy, aren't all bullies practicing free speech? "Now so-and-so, we know that he broke your nose and made you eat dog crap, but he was practicing his First Amendment right in free expression - he's philosophically opposed to wimpy kids with glasses, and you have no right to obstruct his First Amendment rights."

It's the same damned thing. It's a free country, but rights end where they begin to trample on those of others. "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" - sound familiar to anyone?

Unfortunately, this seems to be a common tactic with the religious right, and they seem to see nothing wrong with it. They keep the rights for themselves to trample on the rights of others. If their rights become limited to the same as those of others, they scream about persecution. Sadly, it's human nature, though. It's not something that can be blamed on religion, only those who use it to justify their own hate and prejudice. Everyone wants rights, but few are willing to accept the responsibilities, even if the responsibility is as simple as respecting the same rights of others. But, with things like this, it is little surprise that so many are walking away from the church, and at times even becoming hateful of it.

I wonder... would these same lawmakers be supportive of an atheist bully's right to bully around Christian kids? Again, it's the same damn thing.